Military Life 101

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Dependasaurus (noun): A spouse of a military service person who has let himself or herself go, usually during a deployment. Such creatures are known to gain excess weight, not practice proper hygiene and care little for their appearance. They are often seen at the commissary pushing a cart full of screaming children and Little Debbie Snack Cakes while wearing last night’s pajamas.

WARNING: Dependasauruses can be dangerous. They defend themselves with their prickly leg hairs, bad breath and cutting insults. Do not approach a dependasaurus when he or she is eating raw cookie dough. Results could be fatal.

- Mollie Gross, Military Spouse Comedian and Motivational Speaker